The Fault Line

26 10 2010

Differing opinions…

Faults… Flaws…Mistakes…

Individual “fashion” Sense…

These are difficult to deal with in relationships sometimes. They stand out most when people are stressed, in a foul mood, have spent a lot of time together, or are just being nitpicky. I say this because at times when they – friends, couples, family members, etc. – are experiencing strong feelings of love or patience (or are in a better mood) the same people can easily overlook these same surface defects. The imperfections don’t seem to be such a big deal when we are relaxed, feeling well, and are taking pleasure in the personal connection.

There are cases in which people feel as if they need to make their differences of opinion known. This will hopefully be done with thoughtfulness and tact, as well as with respect for the other person’s views. In fact, they may already know how you feel about the subject. If so, LET IT GO. Believe it or not, it is not necessary to correct, argue, give advice, or respond in any way to another person’s irritating traits or views – even if we disagree with them. Realize it is possible to enjoy being with them in spite of their little quirks. Actually, the quirks often become endearing the more we learn to radically accept that person – and everything that goes along with them.

Q: Are we out to change others, improve them, control them, manipulate them, criticize them or do we like them as they are?

Q: Is their outward wrapping more important to us than listening to their heart, hearing their dreams, sharing their problems, having a good laugh together?

Ridding yourself of toxic relationships that are not accepting of you will set you free. About a year ago, I backed away from a close, but particularly critical friend, and we are both much happier and better off for it. I didn’t mind her criticism once in a while, but it became a fault-finding session each time we got together – complete with advice, cut-downs, and too much “all up in my bizzniss.” So we stopped being quite so close. I was not unkind. I just didn’t try so hard to nurture the friendship any more.

Acceptance of others will set you free, too. You can kick back, chill, and open up a little more. You can even add some tolerance and understanding when relating to those you are in amity with. You can laugh at their eccentricities, shake your head, and love them all the more. Before long you will be having pleasant encounters and coming into contact with people who encourage you and add to your life. You will also find quite a few characters to have fun with. Everyone should benefit from and take pleasure in their relationships. Otherwise, why socially interact?

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